As I’ve mentioned in previous KineSophy articles, I have a young daughter (currently two years old). My wife and I are fortunate that she is a very good eater. She enjoys a wide variety of plant and animal foods and will try new foods. At the same time, I think we’ve done a good job of exposing her to that diversity of foods. For now, it’s easy (or easier) to control what she eats. But that won’t last forever. We know parents with slightly older children whose kids are already asking them whether certain foods are healthy. So when she starts asking those questions, how will I talk to my child about food in a way that encourages a nutritious diet and promotes a psychologically healthy relationship with food? In this article, I share the best answer I’ve come up with so far—although my response will likely evolve with time and practice.
Obesity and Eating Disorders
Since the 1990s, the rate of childhood obesity in the United States has more than doubled. In adolescents, the obesity rate has more than tripled. According to recent CDC statistics, nearly twenty percent of American children and adolescents are obese. At the same time, eating disorders are also on the rise. One study showed that health visits for eating disorders more than doubled for children under seventeen between 2018 and 2022. Nearly three percent of all American adolescents will deal with an eating disorder, and the rate is twice as high for girls compared to boys.
I want my daughter to eat nutrient-dense foods and understand the benefits different foods have for her body. At the same time, I don’t want her to become so consumed with thinking about caloric intake or healthy versus unhealthy foods that it affects her psychological and physical health. Like most kids, my daughter is naturally inquisitive, and she seems to remember everything my wife and I say. So I need to come up with a way to talk to my child about food that splits the gap between overeating and disordered eating, while encouraging her to discover the joys of consuming delicious food.
Is This Food Healthy?
Instead of thinking of foods as healthy or unhealthy, good or bad, it’s important to recognize that all foods have benefits. Some foods are fun. Some foods are fuel. And some foods are medicine. Most foods offer a combination of each of the three benefits in varying amounts. Pizza is fun for many people and provides a lot of fuel, but very little medicine. Kale offers medicine but very little fuel (And many people don’t consider eating kale to be fun.)
When choosing foods, it’s important to balance fun, fuel and medicine within a meal or day. If we don’t eat enough fueling foods, we feel tired. If we don’t eat enough medicinal foods, we feel sick. And if we don’t eat enough fun foods, then we miss out on the joy of eating.
These benefits are also subjective and may change over time and in different contexts. To my daughter right now, broccoli is fun. (So is ice cream.) But broccoli may not always be fun for her, and it’s not fun for a lot of people. Eggs provide fuel and medicine to many people, but cause allergic reactions in others. I wouldn’t eat pizza for every meal, but after I finished an Ironman triathlon, I devoured an entire pizza because I needed to refuel and I wanted to reward myself for my effort.
Which Foods Are Which?
With that framework in mind, we can start categorizing foods by their attributes. Fun foods are easy—they taste good! Fueling foods are high in at least one of the three macronutrients (carbohydrates, protein and fat). They give your body energy and help it build new tissues and repair damaged ones. Your body needs fuel to grow and recover from injury. Medicinal foods are high in micronutrients, which are vitamins and minerals required in small amounts for various bodily functions. For example, the vitamin C found in citrus fruits helps build blood vessels and muscle, protects your body’s cells from damage and helps your body heal.
While it’s possible to find fun in any food, fueling and medicinal foods mainly come from plants and animals. You can find them by shopping on the perimeter of the grocery store. As a rough guide, if a food is white or brown, it’s probably mostly fuel (e.g. rice and chicken). If a food is colorful, it’s probably mostly medicine (e.g. carrots and blueberries).
If you want to get a little more advanced, starches, animal products, nuts, seeds and oils are mostly fuel. Fruits and vegetables are mostly medicine. But I’m not a nutritionist, and I don’t know the macro- and micronutrient content of every food. So when my daughter inevitably asks about a food I don’t know how to categorize, I hope to use that moment as an opportunity for shared discovery. (If you need an easy place to start, Cronometer is a great resource for the macro- and micronutrient content of any food.)
Finding the Right Balance
What constitutes the right balance of fun, fuel and medicine from food will vary from person to person. When I prepare a meal for my daughter, I usually try to give her one to two fueling foods and one to two medicinal foods. And I make sure a majority of those foods are fun for her. Then I watch what she does and doesn’t eat and how she behaves after a meal. Is she constantly tired? Maybe she needs more fueling foods. Is she frequently sick? Maybe she’s not getting enough medicinal foods—both in quantity and variety. And if she seems bored or picky at mealtimes, I can always go back to foods I know she enjoys. As she gets older, we can start to discuss why I feed her certain foods, how those foods make her feel and what foods she enjoys and doesn’t like.
In addition, I want to constantly encourage my daughter to try new foods. Doing so will give her the chance to discover more fun foods, which broadens the number of fueling and medicinal foods she will eat. And when I talk to my child about food, I need to be especially careful to not demonize fun foods that provide little useful fuel or medicine. Even so-called “unhealthy” fun foods provide a benefit (fun!). There are just consequences to over-consuming fun foods and under-consuming fueling and medicinal foods. Truly healthy eating habits are about finding the right balance for each person.
Focus on the Benefits
As any parent knows, choosing the right way to explain important aspects of life can be a difficult balancing act. When she inevitably asks, I want a plan to talk to my child about food that encourages healthy eating and healthy thinking about food. My current plan will almost certainly change as my daughter asks questions I struggle to answer. But whatever adjustments I make, I want to help her understand the joy of eating and the myriad benefits that come from a variety of foods.